Nothing sucks more than losing a big part of your life. Someone you trusted, confided in. Someone that shared your moments of strengths and were around for your moment of weaknesses. Someone whose hugs made everything a little better. But nothing sucks more than knowing that possibly, maybe, letting go is the best thing you can do for yourself. Because possibly, maybe, their not at a stage to ever love you like you deserve. Because I deserve the world and nothing less, and even though…even though, I love you, I can’t stand to be treated with such little respect anymore. And sure, I’ll miss you, I miss you, but the moments of contentedness became so rare as the years passed. And though they were always worth it to me, things tore me apart harder than you can imagine. Although I’m grateful, so grateful, that while I choose to take steps back, slowly but surely, I have no bitterness, no regrets, no what if’s. I loved, I lost…but I conquered.

It’s all about taking risks. It’s scary and it sucks. Who really wants to put themselves out there, emotionally, physically, mentally? Who loves the factor of rejection or disappointment, nobody really thrives on it. But nobody succeeded or achieved what they wanted, or even got to open a new door without taking the chance, the risk, the opportunity to let itself be known. I took a huge risk for myself yesterday, in all sense doubt and insecurities, I let myself be put out there. Sure it was frightening, I probably drove the people around me crazy, but I did it. Not for anyone else but for me, for knowing what it feels like to be absolutely scared but also knowing what it feels like to be revealed because I did it, I did it, regardless of the consequences, I did it. Believe me, it’s not anything great. Probably something people do on a regular basis, but it is something that I’m not comfortable with and you know what? It turned out great, it was a good night and I would do it again in a minute. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still absolutely scared to do it again, because a whole new set of insecurities and doubts have crept up on me but at the same time, that’s okay because I’ll get over them too. And at the end of the day if things work out, that’s great. But if they don’t, I can’t ever say I didn’t try. I’d rather walk away with the possibility of being slightly disappointed but getting over it instead of questioning it and wondering if the scenario would have been any different.

Honestly, just take the leap, what’s the worst that can happen?