May 6, 2010
Onehundred&seventyfour.
It’s been a while. Six months – half a year. – It’s definitely been a while. It’s crazy how much can change in six months, from everything to life, family, perspectives, myself.
Somewhere between going to Taiwan and today, I grew up a little more.
- I graduated from college as a Social Service Worker, which would mean this is my second certification in the world of post secondary education.
- I went to Jamaica, with twenty two amazing people and let the communities make a difference in my life in an attempt to return the change. I was fortunate enough to work at the West Indies Hospital within the detoxification unit, the aids/hiv center and the psych ward.
- My family and I got another cat – I’m not sure how we did it without him.
- I got my first rejection from a university which also means I got my first rejection in life. I’ve never had to change plans for my future because things did not go my way. It was a bitter and hurtful feeling and now it’s an encouraging and motivating one.
- I’ve been in a relationship strong for almost four months – it’s amazing and terrifying how a stranger can become a consistent part of your life.
- I am officially a residential counsellor at a homeless shelter close to where I live. I’m lucky enough to be a part of an ongoing change and process, everyday.
Beyond the tangible parts of my life, I’ve grown inside -
- I’m letting myself fall and I’m scared as fuck.
- I’m learning to love my dad again and forgive.
- I realize now more than ever how important taking care of me is.
- A man at the shelter said while he was talking about his addiction to alcohol and his commitment to sobriety “People want to make changes and they always think of plans but nobody ever does it. I did it, because I didn’t want to look back and waste another 23 years because I already wasted 22. Just get up and fucking do it if you want it bad enough”
- I’m going to attempt to get up and take charge.
- I’ve realized I was pretty tainted and bruised with the clouded negativity in emotions.
- I’ve also realized I was pretty tainted and bruised with the clouded negativity in emotions, I don’t have to continue to be.
- I have a whole list of continuous ambitions and goals I want for myself.
- Sometimes I have really shitty days. Sometimes I have really good days. I’m learning to embrace them both and everything in between.
- …And I’m also slowly learning I’m not that bad of a person inside and out, I just need to learn to believe that for more then five minutes on any given day.
